Life's Lessons - Part 1

Several years ago, I attended a training, or call it a work session. The main theme of the workshop was to introduce a paradigm shift in our thought processes. The shift was related to the way we approach problem solving in our day to day life. What would happen if we stopped whining about things beyond our circle of influence; things that we cannot control and instead focused on finding solutions holding ourselves accountable 100% of the times, no matter what the circumstances were.

At first blush, there was a dark side to the argument. Participants ( and that included me ) immediately joined hands together and attempted to shout down the moderator of the session. Tea break that followed saw us forming islands of team small subgroup, each filled with chagrin at the prospect of holding ourselves accountable for the solution. Somehow, this meant that we would hold ourselves guilty of having created the problem in the first place, which was neither implied or stated. Perception. It was stunning how a group of people could sit in a room, looking into themselves - ie introspecting, could come to a similar conclusion that we had to feel guilty before we galvanize ourselves into action and solve problem [ as a sign of atonement ? ].

The purpose of this posting is not to get into the details of the course, work session, workshop or whatever it was. Or to pass judgments on the value of such sessions. I wanted to document what this meant to me and how it changed the way I approached issues.

While, I would not like to state that all of a sudden, something kind of flashed and a huge change occurred. That would be theatrical, dramatic and even untrue. I had to struggle with this thought that no matter what the circumstances, how do I make sure that I am focused on the solution space. I could no longer bitch and moan about my boss and my HR, I could no longer whine about the people around me, and I had to consciously practice the art of detaching myself from the temptation to complain about things that are "wrong". Gradually, it came to pass [ this took me a good 5 years or so ], as I practiced this with rigor, that I started to focus on how to fix issues, no matter who caused the problem. This did not mean that I ended up doing all the things myself. It meant that I spent time with folks around me on how they solve problems instead waiting for Godot. It meant that I shared and taught folks around and used these valuable platforms of personal change and practice, on how to look at the solution space.

Wayne Dyer in his book "Power of Intention" said, "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". This was a powerful statement. This lesson has been etched in indelible ink in my psyche. I am not saying I am perfect. I am saying that at the point I realize my imperfection, I have a powerful tool for taking a step back and dedicating my energy to problem solving instead of problem highlighting. The problem with discussing and debating endlessly about issues, is two fold. It fills us with negative energy and this cycle continues over and over again. It is an energy sapping experience. It is not an uplifting experience. At the end of the day, it can at best be categorized as "low effort, low influence, low consequence". We engage ourselves in this, because it is one good way to kill time and perhaps boredom.

Lets now look at the state where we can sacrifice boredom through purposeful action taking. Let us start with an example to highlight the concept. I may appear to be whining, but I am using these as symbols to drive home a point. So, I seek some latitude in explaining the concept. Let us take Green Revolution. The basic [ rather simplistic for purpose of explanation ] being that natural resources are scarce. Therefore, we must do our very best to ensure that

     a. we use these scarce resources judiciously
     b. we do not waste these resources
     c. we look for ways to optimize our usage patterns
     d. if possible regenerate these resources

Instead of waiting for government to cut down the prices of CFL bulbs to make it affordable, [ by the way, if GoI did this, I am certain the carbon credits would be immense ]; let us find out the benefits of purposeful action.

     a. Use tap water judiciously while brushing your teeth, face wash and shave. One observation we can make is that the speed of water outflow is proportional to level of urgency behind the effort. I got to rush to meeting, let me shave my beard - usually ends up being tap turned on to its max as we apply lather on the face. This is one action we can take consciously and practice personal accountability.

     b. The second one that comes to my mind is slightly odd. It was based on a research finding. We know that electrical appliances are seeing dramatic improvement with respect to power consumption. Since leakage current is low, we believe that switching off the TV with power on is OK. We leave the microwave switch on. The research paper spoke of a product that would cut off power supply to the devices completely, so as so eliminate leakage or whatever. Switch off your PC desktop and printer. Logging off is not enough. The cynic in me first reacted saying that this is a ridiculous idea [ negative energy cycle commencement ]. I talked to people about this appliance and finally I asked myself what would it take for me to physically switch off the device [ no just the ON/OFF button on the appliance; but switch off at the plug point ] and see what happens over a 3 month span. This was a painful change to practice - to be intolerant to every switch being ON when the appliance is unused. Family members found this funny and at times irritating as well. Eventually, I checked the electricity bill at the end of 3 months. I saw about 8% average reduction in the bill over three months. More importantly, the practice of making a lifestyle adjustment to ensuring that my approach to electricity consumption underwent a metamorphosis.

     c. Does it make sense for us to attend a Greenathon and contribute 2 lakhs driving to the event on your gas guzzling Hummer ? Is this wrong ? Is there a balance ? Just as we want the rich nations to be accountable for environment - more than the developing nations - the same logic applies to rich and poor in India. Providing Solar lamps to poor is a fine idea. We should use Solar energy where ever possible. The question is simply this - can the rich and famous, upper middle class in the nation do much more at a personal level to go green. It is painful but it is possible. Rainwater harvesting is a fine idea. May be we should stop waiting for government to make it mandatory and do something about it in our own homes and surroundings. I am talking of little changes such as these. Can we simply have a ring of rain water harvesting pit around the boundary line of every cricket stadium so it actually replenishes the water it uses up for growing grass. Heard that Aquafina has a drive to replenish the water that it uses up. the idea is noble indeed.

In other words, nothing works like personal change. Nothing really works like taking accountability to bring about change. Now take up issues that you face in your work place and home. Sit back and give it a deep thought asking yourself how you can be part of solution instead of simply whining and discussing how helpless a pawn you are.

You would, with practice, see three major changes in your psyche.
    
     a. Self belief that you can solve and handle challenges no matter what would grow dramatically.
     b. Your attitude and faith in "Impossible is Nothing" would be firmly anchored
     c. Indeed, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You would start seeing opportunities for making a difference, instead of playing the role of the familiar helpless victim.

Thanks Dr Wayne Dyer.