Stop Whining ! - Part 1

Introduction

We face stress in our everyday life. Some of it is simply physical - like when we are carry a backpack during trekking or simply running from from one chore to another. We feel drained and sapped. This is something to do with our physical stress and lack of stamina. The mental stress is more subtle. In face of constant obstacles and uphill tasks that we carry out. Sometimes, we lose heart. There are other times when we want to do something exceptional to prove a point and all we have see is a set of mistakes that we keep making, leading to increased levels of frustration. This oftentimes manifests itself in the form of uncontrolled anger. There are other times when we are emotionally drained and we are unable to push ourselves any further. We can see sportspersons choking in the final stages of the game, when they ought to have actually raised their game to their next level. So, what we refer to as stress, manifests itself in several ways.

In our corporate life, we can think of similar situations during the product development process, in face of stiff deadlines and demanding customers, different professionals respond differently to everyday stress. Some fall sick, others feel depressed and a few other break down. Management books places the blame squarely on the leader. Yes, leaders are accountable.

Well, the purpose of this piece is not to involve myself in a leadership bashing. I am trying to address a facet that is often times lost in the grind of everyday life. This facet asks an important question - "What can we do as an individual do to manage this ourselves ? Are there techniques and aspects of this issue that we need to aware of ?"

Is stress universal ?

It appears so. Everytime, I watch Wimbledon, I can sense the pressure that players are under. They have to perform to their potential day after day, match after match. The stress - physical, emotional and mental must be immense. People reputations and careers are often times are stake. You can see it in their eyes and you can sense it coming through your TV screens. How are Tiger Woods and Roger Federer able to come back to their sports arena and reproduce their class act so often ? What can employees of Corporate World learn from these examples ? To dismiss these as exceptions and something that is not applicable to us is simply wrong.

What will it take for normal folks to build a psyche similar to what Adidas campaigned for during the Athens Olympics - "Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in a world they have been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing." People that live by such a principle must wake up every morning, must deal with their failures of yesterday, learn from them and shrug off the memories; and walk ahead with a spring in their step to meet the challenges of today and plan for their tomorrows.

The key question that we are asking can be summarized in one simple sentence. Can a person perform to his or her fullest potential regardless of the circumstances ? Given our natural disposition to look at our environment or external causes for our failure or inability to do something or achieve our goals, this paradigm of 'attempting to perform regardless of circumstances seems to be a tall order. But be assured that there are ways and means of accomplishing this and inculcating this as a habit.

Begin from the beginning

We are born with talent. In some sense, talent denotes our inherent ability to be good at something. For example, "The boy is exceptionally talented in Music", always conjures an imagery of a person who is born with a latent ability to be exceptional in some specific field. When we say a person is exceptionally skilled at doing something, we are talking about a few related things. The person has an interest in that area. He has undergone some level of training. He has practiced this over and over again. He is very good at it because of his experience - which is a product of his interest, training, practice and consistently high quality of execution. However, when we say "He is tough" - typically we think of a cold, ruthless, uncaring, hard and inflexible person. Nothing is farther from truth. Toughness is an acquired skill, therefore you can be trained to become tough. In fact, toughness, as we will define, is similar to state an violinist experiences during a concert. Time stops and expands. He is in a zone. He is so focused and engrossed in what he is doing and enjoying the state of excellence that this takes him to, he simply has no sense of external stimulus. If have run a marathon, you would experience this as "RUNNERS HIGH'. Its a state where you body, mind and soul come together work purposefully in tandem and produce exceptional result. It is the state that produces the highest levels of performance. One's emotional state is described by words like - confident, relaxed, calm, focused, alert, instinctive, filled with joy, bliss, nirvana and so on. Your adrenalin pumps and you have a sense of arousal that drives you towards a zone of positive energy like confidence, determination, persistence and fun. Compare this with a bout of frustration, where you are filled with fatigue, helplessness, insecurity, weakness, fear, confusion, low energy, cynicism, sarcasm, temper and rage. Each one of the phrases that describe a state of how one experiences energy - be it positive or negative. Fear makes you go into the shell and hide from something. Confidence and determination pushes you to face a challenge. Rage and Anger moves you away from positive engagement, while fun, bliss and enjoyment pushes you towards purposeful action and positive engagement. It reminds me of force field analysis that we encounter in QC Tools workshop.

Some emotions are empowering and free your talent and skill; other emotions are disempowering and effectively lock your potential out. Empowering emotions are those associated with challenge, drive, confidence, determination, positive fight, energy, spirit, persistence, and fun. Disempowering emotions are those associated with feelings of fatigue, helplessness, insecurity, low energy, weakness, fear, and confusion. The reason emotion is so important is its connection to arousal. Emotions are biochemical events in the brain that can lead to a cascade of powerful changes in the body. It basically determines your ideal and optimal performance zone. Fear moves you away from the problem, confidence brings you closer to the solution; temper and rage move you away from engagement, fun and enjoyment bring you back to purposeful action taking. In the 7 QC tools, this is called force-field analysis. One set of stimulus pushes you away from the center while the other set draws you towards it.

Therefore, we can experience toughness as a state that produces a consistent stream of positive and empowering emotion - that ensures physical, mental and emotional balance and control.

Summary

This was an introduction to the subject. We looked at various aspects of performance and scanned the dictionary for words and phrases that describe action orientation or lack of it. In summary, the call to action is to never get engulfed in negative thoughts and emotions. Never keep suggesting to yourself that you are not good enough to do something. You are a product of what you believe you are. Your success is a function of what you do and how well you do as opposed to your DNA or genetics. We will continue to dabble in this "toughness waters" and explore the ocean of positive force field that produces a purposeful call to action.

Until then ... So long and good bye .. and thanks for all the fish :-)